“The Truth Just F***ing Is” -Charlie Sheen

Charlie’s rules are simple: “I talk. You listen.” And, to the media: “Report the f***ing truth. You’re at a truth rally.” So, I listened. I captured. And, I am bringing you some facts and the truth about what happened inside Charlie Sheen’s My Violent Torpedo of Truth show.

Fact #1: Charlie is pissed off

Anger is known to color language and Charlie’s show was as colorful as a Fourth of July

Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen on stage wearing a Rockies jersey (Does he know they are #NOTWINNING?)

display. He said “f@%!* 266 times over the course of approximately 1.5 hours which averages out to three times per minute or once every 20 seconds. Charlie didn’t stutter about his motivation for taking the stage. “Anger is not an emotion. It’s a state of mind for

me,” he stated. It raged through the veins crossing his temples. It shook in his muscles like a volatile atom of plutonium desperate for something to fuse with. He paced, a wild tiger in captivity, his own body. Volcanic anger flowed, searing everything in its path.

Fact #2: You know where Charlie is coming from
I venture to say that you have, or will have at some point in the future, some experience that drives you to seek revenge on someone who you feel has wronged you. Your ex-wife tells your kids that you cheated on their mommy with the elementary school cafeteria lady. You scoundrel. Your mother-in-law tells your husband’s side of the family that you were a stripper in college. Probably a hooker, too! Your boss swiped your innovative ideas and claimed all the credit. He was promoted to Chief Innovation Officer. You’ve been wronged and there is just one obvious response: Tell the truth about that person to the parties that matter. Because the sweetest revenge is undisputed truth in your favor casting a spotlight of shame on your offender, it feels good to tell the truth. Very good.

Fact #3: Charlie and my Mom have something in common
“I f***ing love Jon [Cryer]. I either f***ing love you or I hate you. Nothing in the middle…a sniper loves his target out in the middle.” That’s what Charlie said. Ironically, my mom always taught me that it is more honorable to have an opinion and know why you believe what you believe than to sit on the fence. No matter what anyone says, Charlie isn’t sitting on the fence. In fact, Charlie hasn’t lied about much of anything. A few truths, according to him:

  • “They based a show on my life and I figured I’d give them what they want on and off the field.” Charlie didn’t denying indulging in consumption of drugs and women.
  • Neither Chuck Lorre or the President called Charlie back when he asked them to.
  • The network should not have been surprised that Charlie was doing drugs. They signed their contract with him when he was in rehab. “They knew I was hammered for eight years!”
  • “No one attracts more lunatics than [you,] Charlie.” -Jeffrey Ross
  • “You have the right to kill me but you have no right to judge me.” -Marlon Brando to Martin Sheen, nicely quoted
  • Charlie still hasn’t articulated exactly what he’s won, and neither did Snoop Dogg in his poetic song/video about and for Charlie

Fact #4: Just because it costs a lot doesn’t mean it’s better than a less expensive option
Charlie took unscripted questions from the audience. Here are a few of them:

Show ticket

The cost of satisfied curiosity was never so cheap

From a woman in breathy, dramatic desperation: “What would it take *breathe into the microphone* for a baahahhd boy like you *huhh* to spend the night with a baahhd girl like me *hhuhh*? Charlie: “Um. Wow. Right out of the gate, we’re in the toilet.”

From a kid who I’m sure was twitching: “Do you have any interest in bangin’ 14Gs?” Charlie: “You realize that’s half an ounce, don’t you, son?”

From an eager Charlie wanna-be: “What’s the most you’ve ever paid for sex and does the quality increase with the increase in price? Charlie: “$100,000. And I wish it did.”

Fact #5: The world is becoming more open and connected, just like Mark Zuck’ wanted
Not long ago, the wall between commoner and celebrity was visible and thick. Today, for a few bucks, you and I can go to a show and even ask questions directly of the highest paid stars in Hollywood. We can follow and engage in live conversations on Twitter and catch personal updates on Facebook. Celebrity glamor was never so accessible. Power, never so hot to the touch. Charlie smoked on stage and I could nearly smell the burning tobacco.

Truth: Charlie needs to pick up a new team member if he wants to really start #winning
Charlie is onto something. “The truth just f***ing is.” We’ve heard that before, said slightly differently of course. There was this guy named John and he pretty much said the same thing a long time ago. The only difference is that the truth John spoke about was the truth of salvation through Jesus who offers peace to the angry, rest to the weary, answers to the questioning, forgiveness to the broken, and justice where there is injustice.

Charlie admits to being prideful. “Beg is not a color I wear well,” he said. I venture to say that none of us think we look very good in any shade of beg, but there are times when our souls beg for rest, justice, forgiveness, and peace. Cocaine doesn’t soften the fall that chases pride. Prostitutes sell lies cheap, and there’s no shortage of demand for even the overpriced ones. Adoring crowds of ticket purchasers only care about those who justify their own shortcomings…see fact #4. Yielding to truth means bowing low to the weight of it. And, it’s in the bowing that wings lift a soul high enough to fly free toward the gift of unstained truth.

My wish for Charlie is that he can find the truth that will set him free of the chase, free to walk away from the story he’s stumbling to tell. It’s higher than CBS, bigger than Warner Brothers, deeper than sitcom laughter, and lighter than the sunny Los Angeles sky in summer. Charlie is a funny man. He’s handsome and talented and was handed the opportunity of fame as a young person. It makes me sad that he, like hundreds before him, abuse himself and others in pursuit of the unattainable top of the world. This world, after all, falls short of the glory of God.

I’m glad I went to the show. I’m glad my very cool dad went with me. I’m thankful to Charlie for underscoring that “the truth just is”, his fans demonstrating what it is not. He is insatiably thirsty, craving justice, peace, rest and to extinguish anger and pride. I hope Charlie meets Truth out on the open road between shows, that he learns exactly how Truth unravels injustice. It’s from the inside out, through quiet humility and undeserving forgiveness, that anger falls away and a person wins the prize of peace. Indeed, it is the truth…and only the truth…that sets you free. #duh


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